


Victor

by sanreir



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jaehee Route Spoilers, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8563543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanreir/pseuds/sanreir
Summary: In the wake of incredible loss, Jumin Han finds solace in the last place he could have ever imagined. Can time and love truly heal all wounds?





	1. Resignation

**Author's Note:**

> This work begins as cannon compliant on the 10th day of Jaehee's route; the majority of the dialogue featured in the first chapter is from the second visual novel cut scene from Jumin's pov, however this is the only cannon compliant chapter. I hope you enjoy this work as it progresses, inspired by a very personal experiences, I wanted to convey Jumin in a slightly different light. - S.

To say that it had been a rough week was an understatement. Jumin Han was at his wit's end. _'This is a nightmare,'_ he threw a furtive glance at the large stack of portfolios sitting on his polished desk. He groaned. _'It's annoying that the hacker' is attacking again...I should at least look over the resumes I received so far.'_ He sighed heavily, _'I wish V would come and choose one like he did last time, but he's not here-'._ His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Elizabeth the 3rd dashed into the room and pawed at the door as if telling Jumin to hurry and let the visitor in.

 _Did Assistant Kang come back?_ He strode towards the door, opening it with mirth in his voice. “Why didn't you call before coming-'. His patronizing demeanor quickly turning into one of concern as V slid out of his shoes and stepped over the threshold.

'Long time, no see- no pun intended.' The mint haired man pulled the other into an embrace. Jumin relaxed into the gesture and patted V on the back. V smiled at Jumin's suddenly bashful expression.  
V squatted and held his hand out, Elizabeth immediately placed her head in his palm, rubbing her head vigorously against it.  
  
'Hello, Princess' V crooned quietly

'She always misses you, you know, it’s only natural, seeing as how Rika, you and I practically raised her, but even so it's as if she's attune to you' Jumin motioned toward his cat who was purring very loudly.  
At this, V straightened up and smiled 'I hope she isn't the only one.'

'Of course, I always notice your absence V.'  
The two made their way to the sitting area, Jumin handed V a glass. 'Water or wine?'

'Neither, thank you'

Clearing his throat, 'Didn't you say you couldn't come to the party tomorrow because you're sick?' Jumin asked.

'Yes, but...' V averted what would have been his gaze had it not been obstructed by dark frames.

'I heard you got into a car accident. Are you okay?' continued V, placing his hand on Jumin's cheek.

'As you can see, I'm fine-'

'Why did you drive? You should have taken your driver.'

'I had a reason.' Jumin retorted, his body suddenly tense. ' I hoped you had come here because you changed your mind about the optical surgery, but you've come because of the hacker?'

V pulled away from Jumin, looking down as he tugged anxiously on the metallic locket around his neck as if to steady himself.

'No actually- there's no point in me getting the surgery now, there are more important matters.

 _‘_ What do you mean?' Jumin asked tersely.

'Jumin. Take over RFA for me.'

'What?!'  
'I know this must be surprising, but just please do a friend this last favor-'

'A friend's last favor...' Jumin echoed sardonically shaking his head. 'I'll leave you all the materials,' V continued as if he could not feel his childhood friend quaking at his every word. The cat scurried out of the room as the tension became more palpable in the air.

'How _responsible_ of you, as always.'

'I'm so sorry that things turned out like this, I know you must be angry with me' V said gently. He turned his face to look at Jumin when he felt himself being pushed back, a pair fists bunching up the front of his Henley.  
'You must be shocked to hear this out of the blue but I- I have cancer.’ V continued, ‘I discovered it in the months following Rika’s death. I'm sorry I never told you... I just wanted to disappear quietly from all of you, so I could spare you all any more pain.’

 Jumin stayed silent, anger slowly beginning to course through him, growing more with each word V spoke. 'You really are blind if you think I’d fall for that, you can’t even meet my eyes.’ Jumin spat in a harsh whisper.

 V recoiled slightly, voice pleading, 'Jumin, please.'

'I wondered what you'd have to say, coming here all of the sudden, and _that's_ it.' Jumin laughed sarcastically, barely masking his ire.

'Jumin-' V closed his hands around the other man's, trying in vain to calm him.

'Everything you're hiding, your secrets, they're all fine, I'll trust whatever you do and follow you- but please- don't lie to me! Not you! At least not you!' Jumin felt the unfamiliar prickling warmth in the corners of his eyes and wetness on his face. 'You should be ashamed, for your sake and Rika's!'

He shouted unable to hold back any longer. 'When did you start living with so little dignity?! Even my friendship, how dare you treat it like this!! You've crossed the line V- You made a mistake if you thought you could fool me. Think about all the years we've spent together. Does it mean nothing to you? You idiot, drop the act. Quit with the BULLSHIT that you have cancer.'

'Jumin, I have to go.'

Damn it! Where do you have to go?! 'Where at this point?!'

'To where Rika is.'

'Are you crazy?!' Jumin wiped his face.

I've thought about other ways, but the best way to solve this is to go where she is. Anything else is only a temporary solution.'

'What do you mean 'going to where Rika is?! She's not with us anymore!'

 Then the realization became apparent, 'You're not-you aren't-' Jumin released V suddenly as if a current had passed through him.

'Let me carry this burden Jumin, it’s selfish I know but I refuse to taint the other members of the RFA with my burdens, least of all you.'

'And if I refuse?' He turned away.

'You won't'

'What makes, you so sure Jihyun?'

 He walked forward until he was sure his chest was pressed against Jumin's back and turned him face forward. Fresh tears filled Jumin's eyes, though damn him if they should fall. V ran his fingers tenderly along the other man's jaw and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips, pulling them both back against the sofa.  Any defense Jumin had left was instantly gone. Clothes fell piece by piece to the floor as the need for flesh against flesh grew unabashedly. Mouths roamed free, searching for yet unclaimed skin. How typical for them, the tangle of limbs in exchange for words they could not say, like those precious few times before. _God._ Jumin thought _'How long had it been since they had done this? Ten years? It scared him how much he had wanted this, waited for this. Just how much of himself he had tried to keep hidden out of respect for Rika, whom he knew was the love of V's life? But before her, there had been Jihyun and Jumin and he knew that some part of V still loved him. So, even if just for tonight, he would be selfish. He would take this night and hold it close to his heart. Even despite knowing that he would never be who V craved. Even if it was just to pass the time, he would cherish this._

They made love until the small hours of the morning, V fell asleep first. Jumin leaned into V's neck and whispered sleepily to the other man 'It's like I said before all those years ago, 'In regard to the matters of my heart, you'll always be the victor. I love you, Jihyun.’ Jumin drifted off to sleep, finally overtaking him.

Later that morning, as a dressed V made to leave the apartment, he stood over Jumin and placed a single peck on the peaceful figure's forehead. “I never deserved you Jumin, I hope one day you'll find it in your heart to forgive me. I'm sorry.’ he said softly. Jumin didn't stir. V simply left.


	2. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the RFA party, Jumin finally acknowledges feelings he's been avoiding. A drunk Zen causes tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all, thank you for coming back to read this next chapter. Before anyone asks, no, I definitely don't hate Zen, but it wouldn't be a fanfiction without drama. ;3 This is still Jaehee route compliant so it does contain slight spoilers from Day 11: The Final Day.  
> Please note that there is an implied attempt at sexual assault in this chapter. please proceed with care.  
> Feedback is always appreciated <3- S.

The clock read 10:45 AM. ' _Shit._ Jumin awoke with a start and pulled himself off the bed, not bothering to spare a glance towards the rumpled sheets beside him. He felt a lump rising in his throat. ‘ _There's no point in being bitter, you knew what this was.'_ He pushed those thoughts aside and headed for the shower. ' _Stop it Jumin, just stop.',_ repeating it over and over until he regained composure _._ It wasn't until he was in the car that he pulled out his phone. _20 missed calls and countless notifications from the RFA app._ Scrolling quickly through the contacts he selected 'KANG, Jaehee' and placed the call.

             'Mr. Han, where are you?' her usually cool, even voice was full of concern. 'Please provide MC with anything she needs 'I'm on my way.  Assistant Kang, I expect you to handle things until my arrival.' 'Yes sir, but you should know that I'm hardly needed. She's a natural.' Jaehee's voice was so full of admiration, of affection. It was almost as if…’ _So that's the reason’._ Jumin knew for sure now. ‘ _You were right again, V.’_ He recalled an earlier conversation where V had mentioned the budding, mutual attraction between Jaehee and the newest member of the RFA. ' _It will be good I think to allow MC to join the RFA. I mean look at the impact she's had on your assistant, and it's only been a few days. Jaehee is slowly opening her heart to someone new, whether she knows it or not.' V said, smiling over the phone, 'She's let go of the past and albeit slowly, she's allowed herself the chance to pursue happiness. You should follow her lead, Jumin, you deserve that happiness as well.' He looked away, forgetting for a moment that V wasn't there, and even if he were, V would be unable to look in his eyes, blind to the emotion in them. ‘Maybe, one day'._

 

He snapped back to the present 'I'm pleased to hear that. In that case, just be aware of anything suspicious involving the hacker or otherwise. I will be arriving shortly.' Jumin said.

'Understood, sir.' Jaehee hung up. Jumin sat the rest of the way in silence. He knew it was childish of him, but underneath his professional demeanor, he was annoyed by the fact that the title of RFA coordinator left somewhat a bad taste in his mouth. MC had nothing to do with it personally of course. However, this was twice now that the people closest to him had left him for some girl tied to the RFA. V had left him to pursue Rika and look what happened there. Now Assistant Kang was leaving too. Both had gone from level headed people to reckless idiots and even though it was too late to help V, Jaehee still had a chance.  He was sure that MC was a kind warmhearted girl, but Rika had claimed to be those things too. Jumin would have to see for himself that MC was worthy of Jaehee. He set his plan in motion.

 

As soon as he able to exit his car, Jumin headed towards the venue at a full sprint with only one person in mind. He adjusted his disheveled clothes once he was inside and immediately began scanning the crowd. He spotted Zen's tall, muscular frame immediately, followed by Yoosung's smaller build.  He noted that they were lost in conversation with a young woman in her early to mid-twenties with long dark hair and a petite build wearing a backless, floor-length gown. In that moment, Jumin’s ill-conceived plan to cajole her fell to the wayside and instead, he decided to seize his opportunity.

Instinctively, he made a beeline for them. That had to be her. Up close, the bright red gown she wore flattered her curves nicely. A round face, dark eyes, a nice complexion.  From her profile, she was not what one would call classically beautiful, but something about her was quite familiar all the same. Her eyes fell upon him, and she smiled. Jumin's heart stopped for the briefest second. Perhaps it was the lighting, or the atmosphere, whatever the case may have been, in that moment MC's kind smile had reminded him of his mother.

'Found her.' Jumin said suddenly, startling the other two.

'Huh?! Where did you come from! Why are you here so late? Why are you sweating? Did you run?'

'Looks, eyes, feel... I'm sure it's you.'

'What are you saying?!' Zen exclaimed, clearly annoyed that he was being ignored.

'You have to come with me.' Jumin continued.

'ME?!!' Zen looked floored.

'Of course not. Not you, her. MC.'

'HEY-'

Jumin ignored Zen and kept talking, knowing that this might be his only chance 'I'm sorry I didn't even say 'hello', but come here for a moment.' he gently grasped her arm and led her to the dining area that was currently closed off to the main event so that they might have a few moments in private.

'Again, sorry for approaching you out of the blue. I'm Jumin Han, I know things must be hectic but please hear me out as an RFA member. -‘

'I'm aware, but I am pleased to finally make your acquaintance, Jumin.' said MC in a soft voice. Although she did look slightly taken aback, she accepted his business card and gave him a small nod of encouragement. 

‘These past few days, Assistant Kang changed so much, and it seems that it's all because of you. Before, all she cared about was work, I didn't realize it then, but given your past interactions, it's obvious that you played a huge part in helping her change for the better. You helped her walk away from a situation that was hurting her despite her stubbornness to stay, and while I admit my faults- to put it simply- I have been thinking all night. There is an issue and I don't have a clue on how to fix it and so I thought if it were you, you would know what to do. I know this is all very sudden. I apologize again. But this is so important to me that if it isn't solved, I could lose someone dear to me, and if that happens, I don't know that I'll be able to do anything. So please, just ignore where we are, and the fact that we just met and please listen to me...There is someone who was forced to decide matters out of fear, I don't like it and I want to change his mind, but I don't know what to say to make him understand how I feel. I'm angry and I can't do anything.' Jumin fell silent.

 'Jumin, if I may give you my humble opinion, I see that you love this person very dearly, but from what you've told me this person's decision is final. Most likely, you are precious to them too and they don’t want to hurt you more than they might already have. Like Jaehee, they decided that this is the best path for them for the moment. While you may not like it, you should respect their choices. More than anything, what this person needs from you is your support. Be there beside them regardless if their endeavor succeeds or fails.'

'So, I should always be by his side, but I can't I'm busy'-Oh should I send some security guards?

'No, not literally, just be there for him when he needs you. He may be afraid for his future but having you there will soothe him in times of need and hopefully everything will work out for the best, or it might not.

 'Do you really think it will help? It's only words...'

Regardless, he'll be happy knowing you were there cheering for him, and it's those small things that make the biggest difference'

 I don't get it, could you just be my assistant until I figure this out? Besides, I don't think he'll come back just because I do something now. But I'm afraid he'll go somewhere I can't follow.'

 'No, Jumin, I must respectfully decline, there's someone who I want to be with. At that moment, they were interrupted by Jaehee's voice. To their embarrassment, Jaehee sent a horde of flirtatious women in their direction. 'Of course, Assistant Kang would misread my urgent matter as an attempt to recruit you. I must go mingle with the guests _.'_ and with that Jumin disappeared into the crowd.

 By all accounts, the party was a huge success. Jaehee had been right, MC was a complete natural. The guests were having a good time. Of course, the contributions from the wine owners had had lightened the mood. It did nothing however, to raise Jumin's spirits no matter how many wines he sampled. Zen, however was a different story, he had just discovered that he was in fact, a lover of ice wine and was having his fill. Jumin sighed. In all honesty, he was tired. All he wanted to do was go home and sit with Elizabeth. But more than anything, he wanted to put as much distance as possible between him and the obnoxious white-haired actor across the room.

 'S'a shame V was sick and couldn't take photos of this gorgeous view' Zen's speech slightly slurred as he winked at the remaining members of the writers' guild. Yoosung looked shyly around him. Eyes lighting up with relief as he spotted the conglomerate heir.  The blonde made his way through the dwindling guests to the brooding brunette in the corner.

'Hiya Jumin! The party went really well, don'tcha think? Zen's over there flirting with the stragglers and their almost as bad as he is. If I have to hear one more conversation about his 'well chiseled bod, I'm gonna puke.' Jumin glanced over in the corner of writers when he noticed one of the girls moving in too close to Zen to be deemed acceptable. The other women began cheering loudly. He went into director mode and caught the girl's arm just before she managed to follow through on her intentions. 

 'Please be careful, the floors can be quite slippery for a lady in heels and we wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself.' Jumin said smoothly, the thinly disguised threat coating his words. The girl, flustered that she'd been caught, mumbled and brief 'thank you' and quickly left. Yoosung escorted a rather bemused and tipsy Zen away. Jumin turned to the remaining girls, 'Ladies, it has been the RFA's pleasure to entertaining you tonight. Unfortunately, our event has ended, we look forward to your company at the next RFA event but please understand that this is not a chance for you to live out your fantasies. We are a charity group and do not look kindly upon these sort of infractions, no matter how popular our resident celebrity may be. If you would please be so kind as to ensure you have all your belongings and make your way to the exits.  Goodnight.' he gave them a smile, but the dismissal was clear. He called security and gave them the description of the offending writer then made his way to the back room with the others, where he knew Yoosung had taken Zen.

 'I have already notified security, either way the young woman in question will be taken in for attempted assault-'

'Stupid trust fund jerk- you made my fans leave and embarrassed one of them!  It was a probably harmless kiss! What's your problem?!!'

'Woah what's this? Calm down there Zenny~, I take it you're not used to fine wine and that's why you're being aggressive?!!' Seven was doing his best to distract him. Jaehee and MC spoke next, 'Zen calm down, that's not what happened. Here when you're more clearheaded you will understand that Jumin only wanted to help-'

'No! Zen continued, I'm fine, just a little tipsy, but the truth is- this guy has always rubbed me the wrong way and I finally figured it out tonight, it's because he's jealous of all the attention that I get from women. The only reason anyone even keeps you around Jumin, is because you have 'resources'! Why do you think Jaehee stuck with you for so long? 'Why Yoosung -No- Seven shut up stop yodeling- why Yoosung, doesn't want to work with you. MC also turned you down!! Because without your money, you have nothing to offer. You're empty, cold and unfeeling. Why do you think your father would rather spend his time chasing after women? And I bet you the reason V didn't come is because he didn't want to be around you- you frigid bastard-'

 

SMACK.

 

Everyone reeled uncomfortably as Jaehee withdrew her hand from Zen's cheek.  
'That's enough. Zen, I have always admired you. But you've gone too far, who is this person that stands in front of right now?  You owe Mr. Han an apology right now.' But Jumin had already gone. When he arrived home, he turned off his phone. It hadn't stopped ringing since he left the party. He tossed it on the sofa, undressing as he went to his bedroom. He saw Elizabeth sleeping on what had been V's side of the bed earlier that morning. As he lay down, Elizabeth moved to rest on his chest, purring steadily as if trying to cheer up her troubled human. Zen's words still echoing in his mind.

 


	3. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality comes crashing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone, I apologize for the delay, but with the holidays and a cold this past week, I wasn't really able to devote time to writing.  
> I'm not too thrilled with this chapter, but if I ever think of a better way to execute this bit, I'll definitely do a rewrite.  
> *This chapter contains heavy mention of implied suicide. *
> 
> Thank you for continuing to read. as always I appreciate feedback- S

Jumin poured himself a his third glass of wine, having finished emptying the last of Elizabeth the Third's food bowls, when he heard a knock on the door. The brunette was considering getting a new security team at this point. It was almost like no one was screening his visitors. They were getting too comfortable. As soon as he took care of this guest he was going to have Assistant Kang send a strongly worded email to his head of security. 'Christ, who is it?' he at down the glass and stalked towards the door flinging it open, ready to fully unleash a verbal death upon the offender until he suddenly had a mouthful of V. Jumin fumbled quickly out of his silk bed clothes, knocking into furniture as they went. Jumin's heart was in his throat, Twice in the span of two days, twice he would get to have V in this way. Jumin could feel his skin prickling in anticipation. When they got to the bedroom, V made his way to the edge of the bed and placed his glasses on the night stand. He motioned to Jumin and pulled the younger man into his lap. 'Do you still want this? Will you allow me to stay by your side even though I've hurt you, and now I can't take any of it back?' he whispered, barely heard over Jumin's heart.

'Yes.' The reply came with no hesitation.

The milky, mint eyes glazed over with desire as he stared at Jumin's unmarred flesh. The brunette made to pull off V's cardigan, looking at the other quizzically when his hands were stopped by cold, pale fingers. 'No. Tonight it's about you.' V said quietly. He pushed Jumin off of his lap and onto the bed, nudging him until he was flat on his back. He could feel V's eyes taking in his form. The attention was making him feel anxious. This was so unlike the blind man, what was with him taking control? Although Jumin liked it, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. But the growing need to be taken was overriding his suspicions. V chuckled 'Relax Jumin, you're over thinking again. It's okay. I'm just admiring your sun-kissed complexion. I failed to mention this before but that trip to the Middle East did you some good. No tan lines, no I'm guessing you still tan in the nude?' V asked, running his cool hands over Jumin's soft skin. They exchanged gentle kisses.

'Yes, of course. Tan lines are unsightly and I wouldn't be caught dead with them.'

'If I could have gotten away with it, I would have probably photographed you just like this.' V murmured, leaving a trail of kisses across Jumin's abdomen.

'Why?'

'I made it my life's work to capture beautiful things on film'. Jumin blushed slightly, thankful that the room was dimly lit.

Did you use ever use that line on Rika?' Jumin countered.

'You are incorrigible, but no. I never did.' V momentarily ceased and looked at the corporate heir, his expression full of melancholy.  
'You always said that being with her was like being with the sun, I wonder what you thought of me?' he continued playfully, the weight of the question was not missed by V.

'You were different.' he said seriously, 'You and I truly shared our lives together much longer so it's an unfair comparison, but both of you meant a lot to me. If I truly had to make a comparison. I'd say being with you was similar to swimming in the ocean. There is depth, it's ever changing-'

'Dark, and if you go deep enough, you're sure to find things that scare you, right?' Jumin finished bitterly.

'No, I didn't say that.'

'Jihyun..I loved you'

'I know you did... I'm sorry'

  
Sleep found him there in Jihyun's arms.

 

Jumin awoke, surprised by loud knocking on the suite's door. He turned over, reaching for V and finding only empty space. _He must have left already. But who the hell is knocking on my door?! Where is my head of security?!!_ 'JUMIN-AH OPEN THE DOOR, J U MIN H--AN, FILTHY RICH TRUST FUND KID. OPEN. THE-' boomed a familiar voice.

Zen was slightly taken aback to see the eyes of the devil staring at him through the frame of the ornate door. 'What. The. Fuck. Do. You. Want.?' Jumin hissed, anger visibly rolling off his body.

'Oh were you sleeping still?, I had to get you to open the door...' the white haired man asked cautiously.

'What.do.you.mean.still?'

'Never mind, I was in the neighborhood so I wanted to come by to check on you, and see how you were doing- and apologize to you in person.' Zen continued tentatively. 'You don't have to accept my apology, but I realize that I was out of line with what I said at the last RFA party. If I had know V and your cat going to die, I would have never said that. But with everything that happened after, I never got a chance. That's not the kind of person I am. I tried texting you – but you weren't taking calls, much less going into the messenger app- and then you took off all that time from work and no one has seen you since, RFA or otherwise - so um-'

'Is this a joke?' Jumin scoffed leaning against the frame. 'If I were anyone else, I would have bought your performance but as it stands there are several flaws in your story. First, what do you mean I took time off of work?! How much did you have to drink? The girls from the writing association must have really done a number on you. The RFA party was last. night. Two, I haven't missed work. I took the evening off for the RFA party, again, you were there. It was yesterday. Third of all, and this is where your apology really falls flat, V was just here a little while ago, you probably just missed him to be honest. And Elizabeth the 3rd is somewhere around her part of the suite, I'm sure.' Jumin finished and stared at the man across from him, somewhat annoyed with with the incredulous expression on his face.

'Jumin,' Zen began slowly, 'the party you are talking about was two months ago. Are you really okay? You seem really out of it, I mean no one can blame you- V's accident was something no one expected. No one could have seen it coming, not even me. Everyone has been trying to reach you, but we also wanted to give you as much time as you needed to process what happened. I should have come sooner, look at how skinny you are-'

'Stop fucking around. How dare you say shit like that? V and Elizabeth are fine. V _was just here. He was JUST here_ '.

'Jumin, I'm sorry but they're gone'

Jumin began seething. Zen was full of it. Coming to his penthouse in the dead of morning with some ridiculous tale. V had been here, he knew. He had seen him, held him. They had made love. As for Elizabeth the 3rd, cats were mysterious creatures who often went off on their own devices. It wasn't strange. Zen was mistaken. _But why had V never asked to stay? And when was the last time you really saw Elizabeth?_ His head began to ache, followed by intense nausea as memories he didn't remember having flooded his mind. _In his mind's eye Jumin could see what happened after the RFA party, He and Zen had argued. He had gone home to find a note from V on his table-._

The dark haired man ripped himself from the door as he rampaged through his apartment looking for that slip of paper he wasn't sure existed. Zen followed him, concerned about the sudden change in demeanor. He was shocked to see the suite in a state of complete disarray. As Jumin passed through the kitchen, tripped over empty bottles he hadn't noticed before, empty salad cartons littered the counter tops. Light from the overhead chandelier created rainbows in the corner. There, Zen saw what appeared to be a heap of broken glass, Zen recognized it as the glass remnants of Elizabeth's bowls.

'No Jumin, stop!'

Jumin had squatted down next to the pile of shards and began digging frantically. Zen rushed over to stop the other man but Jumin had already found what he was looking for. Among the shards Jumin pulled a balled up paper and handed it to him. Hands shaking, he unfurled it, face blank. Leaning closer, Zen could see a few lone lines on the page;

 _I'm taking Elizabeth the 3_ _rd_ _with me, I don't want to leave any reminders. I don't want to hurt you anymore. This was the only way. You deserve more than I could ever have hoped to give you. I was never worthy of your heart. You_ _**were** _ _the ocean, Jumin but I was never meant to be the victor of it,_

_I hope one day you'll forgive me. I'm sorry._

 

_-Jihyun,_

 

As if he were cut from a string, Jumin fell to the floor, balled up just as the paper had been. Zen crouched next to him very gingerly reaching out, wary of the glass. He had never felt so helpless as Jumin lay there practically catatonic, not making a single sound. He scooped the other man up bridal style, and held him against his chest not knowing what else to do.

 

All at once, Jumin sobbed.

 


	4. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaehee, MC and Zen find Jumin at the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I apologize again. I have been feeling very under the weather and I haven't been able to find time to focus on writing. I will do my best to resume a regular schedule. As always thank you for your patience and for following this story <3 -sanreir

[Zen has entered the chat room]

[MC: Good morning, Zen! Jaehee and I were just about to take fresh bread out of the oven.]

[Jaehee Kang: Yes, come by if you have time between rehearsals]

[Zen: I don't have time to explain in detail other than I went to see Jumin. I brought him to SKY General Hospital. I asked the doctor to keep everything quiet but I don't know if I did the right thing..Jaehee please. I know you aren't his assistant anymore but I can't do this alone. Please help me.]

[Jaehee Kang: Oh my God.]

[MC: We're on our way.]

[Zen has left the chat room]

[Jaehee Kang has left the chat room]

[MC has left the chat room]

Zen stared down at his screen, feeling slightly less helpless than he had in the last few hours. _Had it only been a few hours? God, How could we let this happen? Jumin Han, that stupid bastard. How did we miss this happening right under our noses?_ He kicked the plastic chair next to him and gripped his head in frustration. The vision of a gaunt Jumin staring lifelessly back at him was something he never wished to see again. He replayed the encounter in his mind. That was not the arrogant man Zen had come to know, what lie in front of him then was a shell of a broken person. _How did we miss it?_ Zen let his thoughts trail off. _What can I do? V help him, please. We need you_.

As Zen prayed, Jumin lay dreaming.

~~~~

_When he had received the call that Jihyun Kim's death had been ruled as an accident, that he along with Elizabeth the 3rd appeared to have fallen off of a cliff during one of his improvised photo shoots, Jumin knew better._

_V's funeral had been a private affair, only closest friends and immediate family. It had felt surreal sitting though the service for all of the members of the RFA. Jumin kept busy. It was the only way he had kept himself together. He had taken care of everything personally, refusing to enter the viewing room, avoiding it until everyone else had gone. He took a deep breath and pushed aside the black curtain that divided the room. He walked up slowly towards the open casket, his breath hitching as his eyes fell on the still figure. His vision became blurred, he could feel the screams fighting to leave his body all at once. 'Jihyun, please. Please don't leave me. Please. PLEASE. Jihyun. JIHYUN. JIHYUN. GOD. PLEASE. NOT HIM. GIVE HIM BACK.' His body wracked with sobs as he slumped to the floor wanting to be swallowed by the earth. After a few brief moments he felt a gentle tug on his arms. MC and Jaehee were on the ground next to him, looking at him with the same puffy eyed expressions, He collapsed into both of them, letting the sorrow pour from his body, not knowing how much time had passed. He could feel them trembling with tears of their own, each of them taking turns rubbing his back and murmuring words of comfort as best they could. 'He's gone Jaehee, he's gone, I loved him so much. God why- please oh God Jaehee, and now I don't even have Elizabeth- they were my everything. And they're gone. I have nothing'_

_~~~~_

Zen met the girls in the lobby giving them each a tight hug. He was surprised when Jaehee handed him a baseball cap. 'It's for discretion, I'm sorry if it seems insensitive at the moment, but it's best not to tempt people with negative rumor circulation around if they haven't already started, and you are famous after all. I called Mr. Ha- Jumin's head of security team, they followed us and are making sure his stay here is unnoticed as possible.' she said quietly.

'How was he?' MC asked, voice shaking. Zen sucked in his breath, 'I mean he looked like he hadn't seen light in a long time, way skinny, not his usual self but the reason I brought him here was because he kept swearing that V had just left his apartment with his cat. When I tried to remind him about the funeral, he just broke. I knew that V's death was hard on all of us but I never thought that Jumin would be the one to...well in any case I feel, no I know that we failed him. I just don't know how we're going to pick up the pieces. I mean, I know I wasn't on good terms with him to begin with, but I can't stand seeing anyone hurt like that.' before he could continue, the doctor approached them,

'Hello, I'm Doctor Lee, unfortunately I am legally restricted from letting you know any information about the patient you brought in today as you are not immediate family-'

'Actually Dr. Lee I have the necessary documents citing clearance for any and all information regarding the aforementioned patient. If you need time to clear it with your superiors, then we will wait here, but be certain that we will not leave until we see him for ourselves.'

'I will be back momentarily' he took the papers looking sightly affronted, as he left Zen looked at Jaehee questioningly. 'Jumin took the necessary measures during the situation with Mint Eye to ensure that in the case of emergency medical or otherwise, he would be my designated guardian, and vice versa.'

'So he adopted you?' MC asked.

'Yes, he and I are legal siblings, it was meant as a precaution since I really don't have family to speak of and Since Director Han is ...frivolous whenever he has a girlfriend so I was implemented as a safeguard. Luciel is as well, actually Luciel and Yoosung are currently looking for the Director to let him know about Jumin's condition.'

“Aish, that guy, why would he leave his son at a time like this?! How did he not know his son would grieve like this?!' Zen said, his voice getting louder at every word.

'Zen, we didn't realize it either, the best we can do is be there for him now. Jumin is hurting, and he has been for a long time, and it make take a while, but I hope that we will be able to see him smile again. It's his turn to be taken care of.'

Dr. Lee appeared again, 'Follow me please.' They went down a series of corridors until they came to a room at the end of the hallway. 'He's asleep now, severely malnourished and exhausted among other things, we're keeping him under surveillance as a potential suicide risk. That's all I can say for now. But If I were you all, I would start making arrangements for him to be under constant supervision-'

'I will start making accommodations right away-' Jaehee began.

'Yes, of course Jaehee, it will be easier for the two of us' MC agreed.  
'No.' Zen said  
Jaehee and MC's eyes widened, confused. '...Zen?'

'Jumin Han will live with me.'

 

 


	5. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terrible at keeping a schedule. TT ^TT I'm sorry. The next chapter will have steaminess as a reward for patience  
> -Happy Holidays- S

No matter what argument the girls brought to his attention. Zen wouldn't budge.

'Zen what about your career?'

'I just finished shooting the finale for 'My Number One Love from Another Star' I'm not due back for filming for any projects now that I'm going to be writing my book. The company was sure it was going to be a hit since the ratings for the drama were insane so if anything, I'll be promoting at a few events but other that, you can't deny that my schedule is the most accommodating for taking care of Jumin. Yoosung is still a full-time student, you two have a cafe, Seven already has his hands full with Saeran.'

 

The girls started up again but Zen cut them off, 'I need to do this, I owe V.'

 

MC spoke first, 'Zen, I know how you feel about that but please don't do this because you feel obligated by someone who isn't here. The fact of the matter is that you and Jumin weren't on the best of terms either, so you need to consider that before you take on such a large responsibility. If you two get into an argument now, you need to understand that Jumin is not himself and any sort of conflict can be quite damaging.'

'I know MC but I'm thinking about what's best for all of us- what if Director Han's girlfriends try to pull a stunt like Echo Girl did to me a while back? If it weren't for Jumin then, she would have won, and my career would have been ruined. I'm a public figure with a cemented career now, they wouldn't dare attack an A-list celebrity.  It's what the trust fund kid would have done if it was one of us in his place.' Zen said.

'Alright, I'll consent. It's obvious that your mind is made up, and besides we'll be here if you need us.'

'Thank you'. Zen said. He knew it wasn't going to be easy but over his dead body would Jumin be left to the mercy of his father's harpies. The RFA was Zen's only family and as far as he was concerned, that included Jumin Han as well.

 

~~~~~~

_Dr. Lee had been most accommodating, explaining that Jumin had been suffering from complicated grief. The first few days in the hospital, Jumin would lay listlessly for hours. He was practically lifeless up until the moment Zen stopped by. Much to Seven and Yoosung's entertainment, these visits triggered periods of lucidity where Jumin would unleash a tirade of insults until his and Zen's shouting matches were the only thing that could be heard in the wing. 'It's like a screwed-up fairy tale where the narcissistic prince wakes up the angry princess with a fight' the two chuckled.  Dr. Lee was at a loss. 'It's almost as if his previous dislike for you is the only semblance of reality he has managed to anchor himself to. 'It's ridiculous. This is not medically possible.'_

_This new development came in handy when the members of the RFA decided to break the news of Jumin's new living arrangements to him. As expected, Jumin’s temper made an appearance. Such was the commotion that MC ended up leaving in tears. They rallied in the waiting room, until cooler heads prevailed. Zen came up with an idea. 'Don't worry, he'll come around. Now go home.' he assured the rest of the group.  An hour later, Zen stood in the doorway of Jumin's room.  
'Zen, you're here again?'_ _Jumin sneered._

_'Jumin, Good afternoon' Zen continued in a singsong voice. 'Hate me all you want but you have to be well first to do it properly. Otherwise, the dislike of a feeble man is insulting and pathetic.' Part of Zen felt wrong for antagonizing a sick man, but his fits of lucid ire towards Zen were the only time things felt the most normal.  
‘Now why haven’t you been eating your meals?_

_'I don't like eating in front of the nurses, they think I'm insane.'_

_'No, you're an asshole, that's why they don't like you. Plus, I don't care if you're sick, you can't be rude to people, not even the RFA members. Especially since we're going to be living together-'._

_Absolutely not. You're not serious'_

_'Yeah, I am. Did you think I was going to let you be a jerk to everyone without doing anything? I'll tell you what, I'm getting you out of here today-'_

_Finally, something I can agree with,'_

_'-On the promise that you stay with me for a while, just long enough for Dr. Lee to clear you to be on your own. So, what do you say? Do you want to see what I brought you as a truce?'_

_Jumin gingerly took the package Zen held in his outstretched hand. It was a specially made donut from a bakery that he and V used to visit together. After contemplating it, he began eating slowly.' It was his favorite' he said quietly, nodding towards the bread._

_'I know.'_

_'I hate you.'_

_'I know.'_


	6. Risque

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zen finds something that might hold the key to Jumin Han.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please enjoy <3

Chapter 6

 

'Yoosung, Seven, are you guys ready to go?

'Ya, we're good Zenny, me and the sleepyhead over here will go ahead.' Yoosung groaned in assent. 'Come on my honey~ Daddy will make you some warm coffee when we get home~'

'Get the hell away from me Seven'

'That's funny. Last night you kept saying things like 'Seven, I need you here, right now'~'

'Last time I do a LoLoL raid with you. EVER.

'Oh Yoosung don't be like that-'

Zen left as Yoosung started muttering obscenities. 

I'll grab the last of the stuff, you guys head down, okay?

The actor entered the master bedroom to grab the remaining belongings that Jumin had requested be brought to Zen's house. He reached for the file box on the bed when the contents tumbled out from the bottom and scattered underneath the bed frame.

'Shit'

 Zen knelt down and started feeling around, recovering stray pages when his hand collided with a solid object. He closed his hand around the side he could reach. The object turned out to be an ornate wooden box. The dark wood was embellished with a simple design. Curiosity getting the better him, Zen opened it to reveal a stack of letters addressed to Jumin with an untidy scrawl and an assortment of photographs and albums. He pulled out the top most letter and began to read.

 

_Dear Jumin,_

_I have to say that exchanging letters is not something that I've done with anyone before so it's kind of thrilling. I had no idea that someone my age lived in this neighborhood! We were neighbors, but it took me three whole months to realize it. Thank you to you and your mom for coming up to me that day and helping me with my camera! If you hadn't been there to catch it, I would have been so sad... My parents are always busy with their exhibitions but maybe...if you want I can show you some of the pictures I have taken? I could always use constructive criticism. You're always welcome to come spend time here, my nanny makes really yummy snacks. If your mom says okay, of course._

_Your new friend,_

_Jihyun_

_'So that really must be V.'_ Zen's attention reverted to the photographs. He was greeted by the image of a young woman with dark hair. Taking in her appearance, he noted her warm gaze and smile were not unlike MC's. There in her lap was baby trust fund kid whose face shone bright with adoration, his tiny fingers poking his mother's dimples. He turned it over, on the back there was a hand-written caption _'Jumin's 1 st Birthday'_

The next photo was a weathered Polaroid that showed two small boys with large pastries that Zen recognized as being from Dinkin' Donuts. ‘I guess I made a good call the other day’ Zen thought to himself. The other boy was none other than eight-year-old V, his free arm around Jumin, smiling widely as they each showed the camera their tasty treats. Zen chuckled to himself. Even though he knew that the two of them had known each other before ever being involved with the RFA seeing Jumin and V like this made them both seem reachable in a way that knowing them had never.

 

Zen was still smiling as he tugged the last photo from beneath the others, as he did so, his breath caught in disbelief.

  
'No fucking way.'

 

In the photo, a very nude, very aroused twenty-year-old Jumin laying across a bed's surface. One of his hand reaching toward the camera as if he himself had snapped the shot, the other firmly grasping his erection. His eyes held unbridled lust, his lips raw as if just seconds before he had been ravished. There was a red ribbon tied around the brunette's neck, the end of which seemed to go further down than the pictured showed. The more he stared at the sensual photo, the more Zen became aware of a warm sensation as the blood from his body pooled into his groin.

Before he had time to think on it however, his phone rang. The actor hastily reached into his pocket, trying to gather his wits.

'Hello.' Zen answered, his voice rougher than intended.

'Hallo lovely Zen, did you happen to forget where we parked by chance?' Seven's tone was cheerful, but in the background, he could hear Yoosung's loud complaints.

'Sorry guys, I'm on my way.' Zen hung up and shoved the rest of the photos and letters back in the wooden box and into the larger one, making his way as quickly as possible. He locked the suite and took a minute to steel himself before getting in the car.

 

'Is everything okay, Zen?' Seven asked looking in the rear-view mirror, his golden glasses gleaming in the light of the early morning.

'Yeah, I'm fine but we did wake up at 7 a.m. to break in to some jerk's house just so we could move his things to my place.'

'Why did we have to do it at this hour?' 'Yoosung whined.

'Because MC and Jaehee coordinated it so that Jumin's welcome home breakfast would start at 10 a.m we needed to have all of his belongings back at Zen's before then because none of us are going to want to help later' Seven said.

'Right' Yoosung said through gritted teeth, desperate for a nap at any and all costs.

'Hey Seven'

'Yes?'

'Mind if we make a quick stop?'

~~~~~~

By the time they had arrived, Jumin was waiting for them at the entrance of the girls' shared loft, the boys were greeted by the delicious smells of a home cooked breakfast. Much to Jumin's surprise, MC and Jaehee had decorated the place with balloons and streamers. MC spoke up shyly, 'I hope I didn't go overboard Jumin, I just wanted you to know you were very much missed' she said as she gave the C&R heir a tight hug. Jumin's expression held its usual seriousness but Zen didn't miss the tenderness in his reciprocating embrace. The actor thought back to the photo of Jumin's mother, no wonder Jumin had always been kind to the RFA's newest recruit whether or not he himself realized it. The actor tried to ignore the tightening sensation in his chest as he handed a Dinkin' Donuts bag to Jumin.

'I figured you might like these.'

Jumin looked genuinely touched when he saw the familiar donuts inside.

 

Jumin spoke, 'I'd like to thank all of you for all that you are doing. Even though I have become somewhat of a burden in the last month, all of you have tried your best for me and that is not something I overlook so easily. Especially Zen, you've opened up your home to me and have shown me that you are someone I can truly put my faith in, even despite our unfriendly history. So, if there's anything I can get you or do for you in return during my stay with you, please say the word.' 

'Get well, Jumin.' Jaehee said. C&R needs its Director back' she said gently 'Of course, please take your time in getting better.' 

'Yoonie and I could use some new games and a car' Seven teased.

'ACK, YOONIE? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?  AM I NOT A MAN?!'

Everyone laughed happily at the last remark and spent the rest of the day in relative enjoyment watching cheesy action movies and snacking throughout the day. Everyone except Zen.

 

Once they were home, Zen headed toward his shower and locked the door. ' _You need to relax_ ' he muttered, welcoming the hot water against his skin. He lathered his hair and scrubbed himself clean, reveling in the sensation of having his troubles melt away. He casually began to stroke himself looking for a distraction from the day's events. He began to picture various girls, their curves, pale skin and dark hair to try and bring himself a little further. Nothing.  He closed his eyes and instead thought of chapped, bruised lips, seemingly kissed until raw. Suddenly the image naked Jumin flood his mind. He was erection almost instantaneous, pre-cum already seeping from the tip. The water felt cool in contrast to the fire emanating from his flesh as he pictured Jumin Han bucking beneath him, back arched in pleasure. Zen began fervently thrusting into his own hand at the imaginary sight, desperate to stay quiet, ashamed that he was getting off to his new roommate just because of a saucy photo the latter had probably taken on a whim. _So close. So close. So close._  A deep, muffled voice from the other side of the bathroom door cut through Zen's thoughts as his seed spilled from his closed fist.

 'Hold on' the actor replied in the steadiest voice he could muster. He quickly rinsed off and got dressed, composing himself before pulling the door open and heading to Jumin's room.

 

'Hey, did you need something?' Zen asked his ward.

 

'I didn't mean to interrupt your shower... just wanted you to know that I meant what I said. You were the one who found me, and the one who somehow managed to keep me tethered here during my hospital stay. I am not sure when I will be fully recuperated, but I will do my best to be well, so I can leave. Thank you for showing me that you are as loyal and trustworthy as you said. And I would like it, if during my recuperation, we could become friends.' Jumin said quietly from his bed.

 

'It was nothing, I'm only doing what you would have done for me'. Zen responded with a small smile. He bade Jumin good night and went back to his room. The smile fell from his face as he rested his forehead against the door.

 

Jumin lay restless in bed taking in his unfamiliar surroundings as sleep grew steadily around the corners of his eyes. His body felt heavy, tiredness being a constant mental state these days. He exhaled feeling dread, if sleep didn’t come soon loneliness would set in and he doubted he could keep up the facade he’d been putting on these last few days. Not that he didn’t appreciate what everyone had done for him. Had it only been a couple days since he left the hospital? It felt like weeks, months even.  Jumin had no clue. Even so, he knew that playing along was the only way for everyone to lay off their constant badgering. As he started to let his mind wander, Jumin began to feel the familiar sensation of dead weight pressing on his heart. ‘ ** _You’re just burdening everyone. Do you think they really want you here? Really, it should have been you instead of Jihyun_** _.’_  Panic began to set in and he could feel the sting of tears beginning to form on the corners of his eyes. The latch on Jumin’s door clicked open, he could hear the padding of bare footsteps on the carpet. As Jumin gazed upward, he was relieved to see the ghost of V observing him tentatively. Silence hung in the air as the apparition regarded him but made no indication of speaking.

‘Don’t leave me again. Please, stay with me.’ But before Jumin could plead further, the vision vanished.  



End file.
